As a little black girl my mother married an older white man who was a guard at Statesville Penitentiary in Joliet, Il. He was a p******** and predator. She didn’t know at the time who she married. He molested me between the ages of 7-9 years old. Fondled me and performed oral on me. Had me touch him. It changed me…like it altered my DNA. I’m almost 50 now and for DECADES I’ve actively had s***** encounters with white men mainly wanting oral only. It took me years of counseling to come to terms with liking oral and preferring it over any other s***** contact. I understand where it came from- the desire. I don’t hate that Im this way, its just a shame how I came upon this. I partially feel ‘normal’ and the other part feels understandably DAMAGED. I just don’t let it control me like prior years. That’s my true confession.