theres a girl online and we’re starting to become friends. i was immediately struck by her beauty so i showed her pic to my friends and family, and to my surprise everyone said we look soooo much alike.
but i don’t see it. at all. i have already struggled with my body before, and my main triggers are people i like i guess – like my best friend, who started her fitness journey months after i did but lost a ton of weight and kept it off while i struggled and gained back. i love her more than anything but she makes me wanna die.
this girl online is much more beautiful than i am. she has bright blue eyes and mine are just dark green-ish, and she has better hair (i pull mine off when i’m anxious, but only in the back, but still it’s not very beautiful). but i could live with it, until i discovered she is on her way to become a model. she’s 20 cm taller than me and 3 kilos lighter. i felt something crack open inside of me.
i’m 5’2, never had problems with my height until recently. i feel disgusting, short and fat, compared to anyone else. maybe bc at school everyone is around my height but all my friends at the seaside are giants. plus i’ve been struggling with my s******** and i think the disappointment was also caused by crush i had developed on my bff and this girl online. i feel like trash. i want to start eating less and less and be happy forever – i want to live on an apple a day and be finally light and pure like a feather