In 07 I met a married woman (I’ll call her M)that was looking for a guy on the side (with hubbys permission). We immediately clicked and got along so well we decided to stay friends. Since then I became really close with the entire family and I moved away in 2010. We joked about me being immediately friendzoned, but it never bothered me because she became one of my best friends.
The past couple years, the husband (IMO) has been a douche. He has an awesome wife that busts her a** all the time while he’s on the road for work and the only rule they have about other people is that the spouse has to see them and approve it. But the dickhead can’t even bother to do that and she keeps finding out about his flings after the fact. A little over a year ago, I read something she posted online and had a “Holy s***, I’ve got FEELINGS for her” moment. I called myself a dumbass because I knew she didn’t feel the same way towards me decided not to say or do anything. I figured it wouldn’t be that hard since they live in Alaska now and I live near Vegas and I hadn’t seen her in 4 years. How hard can it be to smile and pretend everything is fine over texts and emails?
The past weekend her friend, Amber paid for her ticket to fly to Vegas for a weekend. I was asked to come along and play tour guide. I jumped at the chance to see M again. All day and night Friday I put up with the friendzone and gay friend jokes and Amber was being a b**** about it and so I finally told her and M off a little bit that I was tired of it.
Saturday night her friend was being bitchy again and finally went back to he room around 2am. My friend was (I guess) feeling a little guilty and decided to play wingman and get me hooked up. I wasn’t terribly interested and when she finally asked me why, I told her it would be like settling for 2nd best. I could see the lightbulb light up and realized I let it slip.
The next day, I helped them check out and when M left my chest actually hurt. I was up all night thinking about it and wishing I had never realized it and that I had never let anything slip. It was like I could deal with it and mostly ignore it when it was just a thought, but once I let it slip out, it’s out there and it’s real.
This morning, a coworker flirted with me a little bit, which is kinda odd for me, so I mentioned what happened to M in a text. She agreed that it was flirting and asked what I was going to do. I said I was just gonna play dense and ignore since it’s a coworker. She said men s*** when they do that. I said that women do it more and it s**** for us too. I didn’t realize what I wrote until I hit send, but it was too late. She hasn’t texted back.
Who has two thumbs and is a dumbass? This guy. Fell for a married woman when I knew I had no shot and doubled down on my stupidity by letting it slip.