I have two sons. One is now 24 and the other just turned 23. I suppose this all started right after my younger son Sam( not his real name)graduated from high school five years ago, he came home with me and he brought one of his friends as well. My wife had to work that night. Anyway, he sits me down on the couch in the living room and points to his friend and says, “Dad, you know Frank(not his real name) right? Okay don’t freak out but he’s my boyfriend. I’m gay and we’ve been dating for 4 years now.” I was so shocked that I didn’t know what to say. After a long and awkward pause he finally looked at me and said “I know you’re not going to accept it and If you want me to leave the house, its okay.” I told him it was perfectly fine and I love him no different.He was happy but he begged me not to tell his mother.I am normally very open with my wife, but I agreed to not tell because I knew how against the gays she was.

Fast forward to three weeks ago. I never did tell my wife our son was gay so imagine her shock when she walks in on Sam kissing his boyfriend in the kitchen of his apartment. They get into a big fight and she tells him that he’s dead to her. She said that he’s a disgrace to her, his father (me), and his older brother . They haven’t spoken since then and she refuses to even acknowledge him.

Also, after she found out, she went up to my other son Jim (again not his real name)and demanded he tell her everything he knew about his younger brother being gay. Apparently Jim was the first person to know,and had known since they were both preteens. Jim kept the secret and supports his brother.

Both Jim and I accept Sam, but my wife won’t.It’s not just Sam , she’s acting as if both Jim and I don’t even exist as well . She just goes about her daily routine as if we were never there.She wont even talk or make eye contact with any of us.As much as I disagree with my wife I don’t want to lose her.Although as the days wear on and the more I can’t get through to her I’m starting to feel as if I’ve already lost her.