I am so depressed on the inside. I don’t feel like myself after having a baby b C-section. He’s one month and I feel like such a bad parent for thinking about harming him. I really love my son man but its hard. I had to drop out of college, I moved home to my nagging a** family who’s always trying to control my parenting. My baby’s dad isn’t helping or even talking to me. And my baby is soooooo damn adorable. I love the way he smells, and giggles and looks at me and even cry but my life isn’t working out so good so I think about killing myself and my baby. I lost a lot of blood during the C-section and now Im extremely aniemic and keep getting infections. They hurt so bad some days to the point where I can’t take proper care of my child sometimes. Everybodys in my face, asking about my schooling and what happened with my baby’s dad… IM LOSING MY F****** MIND AND I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY! I HATE MY LIFE! THIS IS NOT WHERE I THOUGHT I WOULD BE 5 YEARS AGO! UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!