I’m broken over a guy I never met. countless days of talking over skype. I don’t know him anymore, but I was so in love with him, and the thought of him makes it hard to breath. my heart feels like it’s physically braking. my gut hurts. I can’t breath right now *sigh* I can’t move on, I’m still in love with him. ow, my heart. I wish I could talk to him again. I’v been really sick lately because I have stopped caring about my health and everything. I don’t seep because I’m crying all night. I tell some guy that I’m in love with him, I sent another a pic of my b***. I stop caring. I don’t want to be this, I want to be in his arms, and have my lips on his. My first ex wants to be friends again, and I’m being a b****, bit if HE ever came back to me, I would let him. I’m a b****.
I big f****** hurting b****. I also use to never ever curse, now it’s a part of me, a hurting b**** who doesn’t care.
And schools about to start, I’ll be a nothing to all of them like I have always been. Also I know my best friend is lying to me about stiff, my heart can’t take it anymore, everything is crashing down :c.
I can’t tell my best friend how i feel cuz she’s getting sick of me. so I smile wave and ACT SO F****** POSITIVE, IT’S WHAT ROBIN WILLIAMS F****** DID….
look where he is now :c.
I go and new all this f****** mission work in Mexico Peru and Africa, and tell peopel that Jesus loves them and I tell them to smile. I tell people to stop cutting and to make and effort to get better or talk to someone about their depression, and yet here i am, no one knows im breaking. but if a guy asks me out im gonna say yes say empty i love yous and all that s***, whatever.
OH MY F****** GOD I WROTE A MILLION F****** SONGS ABOUT THEM. HE DOESN’T TALK TO ME ANYMORE, AND I CAN’T F****** BREATH.
Then I have to go back to school, and see the f****** trader who ditched me for those f****** popular “plastics” (LOL MEAN GIRLS) anyways, I’m going back to those lonely halls, the same looks, the same wispers behind me back. BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT i’M GONNA DO? SMILE AND F****** WAVE AND ACT LIKE A F****** 12 YEAR OLD!!!!!!! BECAUSE NO ONE CAN KNOW WHAT I HAVE LOCKED UP NO ONE CAN COME IN, NO…..anyways. bye