(Skip this part if you just want the confession) Back story: I live with my god parents who have three sons and for people who don’t really know what god parents are, they are adults who take responsibility of my religious education. But they’re not that religious and neither is my biological family, really what they are, are people who care for me and they have a title over it. But anyway they’ve known me since I was 4 but when I was 8 I had spent the night at their house and I was awake before them so I went outside and played with their dogs, my father saw it and he got mad at m god parents for me being out there playing with their dogs, which is stupid. I didn’t see them until I was 15 when my parents got their divorce and I choose to stay with my mom. So, I was able to see them again without my father putting his two cents in. It was like seeing strangers because I had forgotten what they looked like from when I was a kid and they hadn’t scene me since I was 8 so it was a bit eerie, for me anyway. Then a few months later I’m living with them while my mom left to get a job in another state and my relationship with my father was non-existing.

Confession: Well I’m 17 now and I’ve lived with them for the past 2 years. As I got older I couldn’t help but to relax around them which is a good thing but also has a fault. I can’t help but to have s***** fantasy’s about my god father. At random times when I’m going to bed, taking a shower, or when I’m actually m***********, I start to think of him. Now he doesn’t gesture any s***** contact toward me because he really does see me as his daughter. The only contact we do have is when he squeezes my shoulders as goodbye when he leaves for work in the morning or when I’m being stubborn and hard headed, he’ll tickle me. He will compliment me when I’m wearing something nice and we’ll watch movies together because we have the same interest in genres. He treats me as a daughter and I do my best to let him know I love him as a father, I’m again very stubborn with my emotions. But I keep my distance for the fact I do fantasize about him, I think of ways I could lure him in, predicaments where we could do it. I can’t help it I find myself trying to pick a nice outfit wanting a compliment from him or for him to look at me and maybe just maybe he would think in his head he would want to do me. I know its wrong so I keep my distance and make sure it stays just as a fantasy and I’ll forget about it sooner or later.