We’ve been married for many years and my wife told me just before we got married that she didn’t like s**. That didn’t make sense to me at the time, and I guess I didn’t believe her as we had always had a very physical relationship. We were both really busy with school and then careers, but she lived up to what she said, and our romantic life, which had been full before getting married, just went away. It didn’t fade away, it just stopped, bout two weeks before we got married, and continued for years. This was very difficult for me, as I am a very physical person. We had children, who I love dearly. But our relationship continued to get worse. It was so sad. She would often tell me that if I ever cheated on her, our relationship would be over, while I kept thinking our relationship was over, but only I realized it. She would say she loved me, but not act like she loved me. Pulling away with any expression of physical love, I talked to her many times, telling her that I didn’t like our relationship, but she didn’t seem to care. I know she loved me, but I didn’t feel loved. I thought for several years about leaving, but I loved my children,mains didn’t want them to be in a split family. So I continued on, thought I felt empty.
Finally it just built up and I got more and more frustraited. My wife asked me what was wrong, and I initially told her “nothing”. But finally I told her that I was unhappy and had been for a long time. Her initial response was to tell me that I would have to decide if I was going to stay or go. That seemed to confirm my fears.
She continued to push, making me tell the kids, telling our friends. Etc. was just pushing me away. There was someone else who was going through similar issues, and we would talk about what wen we’re going through. It was very nice, and made me feel like someone cared. It was wonderful. Then after a couple of months, my wife decided she wanted to go to counseling, which I had talked about before. I felt I owed it to my children to do this, so we went, I was very up front with my friend, and she understands I think. After a couple of weeks of counseling, nay wife decided she wanted to try to make it work. She read the book love languages, and volunteered to go to a s***** therapist. I think I still owe it to my kids, and my wife is a good person, and a good mom…. I am not sure I still love her. I love my kids…. I don’t dislike my wife. Just man years of indifference. I’m not sure if I can overcome that. I’m still working on it. I don’t want to be without my kids. I don’t know what to do.