I am a former Cjristian who has spent over 3 years struggling with my faith. I fell away from the church and tried coming back multiple times. Throughout the whole thing I continued to go to church, talked with religious leaders, joined a Christian bible study group, joined a Christian forum to speak with people from all over the world, and read Christian books (Bible included).

While I was struggling everyone seemed so helpful and friendly but after a couple of years I said I just can’t do this anymore. I have been praying my entire life and never once felt like I had been heard. I look up at the night sky and see my place in the world as being insignificant. I came to terms that I was actually an atheist. As soon as I informed my friends and acquaintances who had been so helpful and friendly, they instantly turned into giant pricks.

“We’ll pray for you”, “Why do you hate God?”, “I’m sorry you lost your faith, I hope you can find Christ again”, “Why don’t you just pray?”, “What if you’re wrong?”, “If there’s not God, then why do we have morals?”

I heard all of these and more, such as why it is completely illogical to be an atheist in the first place, how atheists are mean people who just like to amuse themselves by going off on Christians and inconveniencing them. I have been taken aside to be talked to, I have had people ask me to go out to dinner with them at fast-food places and then they bring out a Bible and talk about Jesus and why I need to accept him.

Outside of the religious discussions they are great people but so often I just smile when in my head I’m actually thinking “F*** OFF AND LET ME BE!!!” I have had to find new friends who are atheists/agnostics themselves in order to feel fully accepted for my beliefs.

F****** ridiculous!