It was the first time I’ve ever felt powerless. When I was 13, I slept over my brother’s ex’s house so I could make gingerbread houses with my niece. We all had fun around 1 or 2 A.M. my brother started pounding on the door so I let him in. He was drunk and wanted me to leave with him and his friends because his ex was a “w**** and she was teaching me to be a w**** too”. His ex came downstairs to try and stop him and they started fighting. He held her by her throat up against the living room wall and choked her. I didn’t do anything to stop him. All I could do was sit on the couch and watch. I can’t remember how it ended but I didn’t end up leaving with him that night and once he had gone his ex asked me if I was alright. She was so nonchalant about it. Like what I witnessed was somehow normal. Like my annoying, idiot of an older brother hadn’t tried to drunkenly drag me off into parts unknown and choked her while their toddler slept upstairs. She wasn’t even angry. He never mentioned it. I can’t get this out of my mind.