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Before I begin this rant I will inform you that there are Zelda: Ocarina of Time spoilers in it. Thank you.

Let’s begin!

Y*** fangirls annoy me. I like SOME y*** but the fanbase tends to really really and I mean really irk me. I will set aside the fact so many of them are okay with male r*** and will jump through hoops to justify it and yet if a fellow woman gets raped they see red. I’ll set that aside. :p

What I will tackle is their hatred for female characters and anyone in the way of their buttsexing “ship.” They will shower the domineering r***** molester males with adoration but then they hate on female characters like Winry, Rinoa, and Zelda. Women who help the male lead and are there for him. You make sense of that because I cant. People adore Seifer who gives Squall so much trouble and hate Rinoa for being a normal rebellious teenage girl. She does wise up. She’s not perfect. Neither is shut everyone out so dont get hurt Squall. He is not so above her that she doesn’t deserve him.

When a certain female character in Fruit Basket was revealed to be a woman they went batshit crazy. Then they became so desperate they reasoned “oh its a male in the anime!!11” The anime is incomplete. If it went on for another season whether it makes sense or not they would have continued the plotline which calls for said character to be a woman. You cannot change that characters gender without ruining a massive chunk of the story.

They go so crazy for their pairings they will deny straight up evidence and facts. Take Sheik from the Legend of Zelda. When you get to the end of the game its revealed to be Zelda all along. In the game she reveals herself right in front of Link. She has bandages on her chest to conceal her breasts. If she had a d*** there would be no need for the bandages and to cover her face and yet she covers them and keeps her distance from Link. Why is she not letting him near her? Why is she hiding her face? Why the bandages? Where is the bulge? Ganondorf and Ghirahim have bulges. Why is Sheik like a barbie doll down there? Because its a woman. The disguise itself may be meant to be a male but there are no actual male tools. She’s pulling a Mulan. This is a kid friendly series. They aren’t gonna cater to your f******* fantasies where women grow ding dongs.

I could keep going on really. I could dedicate an entire blog to how much they annoy me at times. It’s like they are so h**** all logic and sense goes flying out the window.

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Idk if this happens commonly or if i am just very very unlucky. My father passed away 9 years before my mother. When she passed it was time to clean out the home they lived in for over 30 years of a 60 year marriage. My father took his camera with him all over the world in the military. Still camera and 8mm. Boxes and boxes of slides and reels. I simply saved them and set them aside for later. I got time months later and got one of those 35mm slide to jpg scanners and just ground thru them. When i got them all scanned i got a later chance to prop my feet up and go thru them. Amongst all the widespread scenery and travel and cool vintage moments i stumble across pics of my mother. Many of them simple poses in many places, mostly outdoors, she was actually a modestly attractive classic pinup type. But then i run into the lingerie shots. And then the tasteful n u d e s indoors and outdoors. And then the real shocker. On any scale my mother was the classic church going uppity prudish b**** woth zero tolerance for bawdy or suggestive behavior or language. Hell sometimes i would say something crude just to push her uptight buttons. You would not believe how bent out of shape she got when she found evidence of my first s** dream on the sheets. Or at least what i ever saw from her was that way.

But i see hundreds of shots that are full bore graphic. Nothing artful about them. Spread shots, bendovers, hands between her legs, and then actually having s**. But in none of them is my father the man she is havimg s** with. He was obviously behind the camera. Some of them? A minister i recognize because she used to drag me to church all the time. Neighbors or friends of my parents that i remember. . It just kept piling on. Shots of my mother having lesbian s** with my aunt, my father’s older sister. Shots of my mother with other women i dont recognize, shots of my aunt with some of the same women. Shots of my mother with multiple men. Def did not wake up that or any day expecting or wanting to see pics of my mother getting spitroasted or used by a group of men and pretty much looking like she is having a grand time. When i do manage to force myself to power thru them all, hypocrtically, my parents were both moderately racist, but the handful that did have my father in them? He was having s** with a few different women, all african american women, except for one woman. His f****** sister, the same aunt i saw shots of my mother having s** with.

The s***** part was having to go through all of them because i did not want to risk losing family photos or memories or history that were NOT my parents’ s** escapades. At that point i accepted that the stack of 8mm movies might be similar. And i was right. The huge majority of them were my mother and the various random men my mother was having s** with, but some of the men were not in the still shot stack. No decent family movies at all sadly, the whole lot except 3 of the 8mm were either my mother and who tf knows who the men were, or great, a lesbian movie with my same aunt. The 3 exceptions? A mix of my parents doing foursomes with two diff couples. Both of those couples i knew/ remembered as family friends, i had grown up with their kids. In both cases wife swapping with my parents. And the crown jewel…..obviously sarcastically….my dad with my mother and aunt.

Look don,t get me wrong, i am nowhere near a prude, we all have our little quirks and kinks. I am not judging any of them, it was theie thing to do. I confess i had a few queasy reactions because the stills and movies span a time from before i or my sister were even born, to a time when we were mid 30s, which put my parents and aunt in their 70s. Hell i hope i am still having s** when i am that age.

By the time i was done, i had one focus…..there was not a condom in sight in any of it. Was my father actually my father? Is my sister my full sister or half sister? Do i have half siblings i dont even know somewhere? How glad am i that i have never done the spit in a tube ancestry or 23 and me thing, because i do not want to fall into that vortex of doom?