every single day I regret doing a big wedding. I don’t want a big wedding but he and his family does. we are doing this entire thing for his family. i don’t even believe in god, i don’t care about receptions and all that b*******. i wanted to go to hawaii or the mountains or anywhere else beautiful and remote and have a small, private wedding and spend the thousands of dollars on an unforgettable honeymoon. not thousands on s***** food, s***** photography, a cheesy a** video… what the f*** for? who the f*** for? every day is stress, i have no one to help me plan this s***. i have to make all the decisions for a wedding i never wanted. i want him, i love him, and love is partially about sacrifice, but this is too much. and every single time i try to admit that this isnt what i want, everyone gets pissed. life is just a series of mistakes, and fantasies about what i could have done better in the past to make me not so miserable today. this is wrong wrong wrong.