I fell in love with an amazing guy. He truly became the center of my life. I gave up cigarettes, drinking, drugs, and self-harm to be with him. But then about two months ago I moved in with him. A month ago he began acting so differently…
He tried to “give me” to his cousin. His cousin. The old part of me, the self-loathing w****, almost wanted to go through with it. But I didn’t.
He started acting hateful, and cold toward me. After so many arguments, and screaming, he finally started trying to fix it. But one thing he said continued to twist me up inside. He said I wasn’t the same anymore. He said I wasn’t independent anymore.
Here recently the craving for cigarettes has nearly driven me insane. Nothing sounds better to me than to go get drunk and make a few mistakes. And I must say… the metal head guy at work is starting to look better and better to me.
But I love my fiance. I don’t want to hurt him, so I refuse to go through with any of those impulses… I don’t know what to do. Am I too damaged?