My lover died of a heroin overdose three weeks ago. I had to find out on Facebook because our relationship was an affair. He had been clean for six months, and I feel like I’m the one that caused him to use. He told me he slept with a g****** his visit back home (we agreed we weren’t exclusive), and to make him jealous I acted like it didn’t bother me and said I was going to sleep with someone else too. A little while later he told me he ran into the wrong person and he was going to shoot up because I made a knot in his stomach. I told him to enjoy his numbness instead of trying to stop him (we both have severe mental problems, so we didn’t bother lecturing one another). He texted me that he loved me, and eventually stopped texting me back. He died on his bathroom floor that night…Now I have to grieve in silence. I cry in the shower, on my way to and from work, locked in my office…pretty much any time I’m alone. This feeling of loneliness is consuming me. I knew our “relationship” would end eventually, but I never imagined it would be this way.