I’m not into girls, I consider myself straight, I have a boyfriend, and even at parties, or having been drinking, I have always made a point to be faithful (though I’ve had plenty of opportunities to be sneaky behind his back). Recently however I ended up fooling around with this girl I met at a rave, somewhere between the neon paint, vivid colors and drugs, I lost myself and became someone else. I told myself that it would only be a one time thing, but I saw her a few days later at a club, even without her glam and makeup on, I found myself staring at her from across the room, she saw me too, next morning there I was in her bed. I got her number and after a few days, asked her to meet me at a public place to just talk, I wanted to know her, figure her out, find out what her deal was, big mistake, I lost my nerve and after a while of talking my spine turned to mush, which resulted in myself staying at her apartment again. She is a beautiful girl, simply gorgeousness, and I’ve never thought of any other girls as beautiful before, only boys. It feels like she has hooks in me, I become like some sort of doll on strings around her and we’ve started sleeping together casually, I cant turn her away and I am undeniably attracted to her, I tell myself no, and to just stop, but her eyes, she has some sort of power over me and my boyfriend has started to notice my distancing (which at first he appreciated, but now I think he is becoming suspicious, he has even jokingly commented I have another boyfriend). I feel like I’m losing my mind, I saw her again last night, and spent all day with my bf today, I’m so drained but I can’t stop. What is happening to me?