I just want to get this off my chest. Hopefully this helps since I can’t really talk to many people about this. The first time I saw my ex she made my heart beat fast, my stomach feel queazy and under my breath I said “that’s my future wife” never had I ever had that feeling. It took a while but we eventually started dating. She made me feel things that no one had, I was so happy and felt so safe with her. We always had a good time and I always made sure to tell her and show her how special she was. People would always complain about “her annoying laugh” or “how she was loud” but I didn’t care. In fact I loved all those imperfections. She always had a wall and I always tried to knock it down and I wanted to be that person that she could trust and love completely because the last thing I would do is hurt such a beautiful person. However, she never felt the same about me and I ended up giving more. She found someone else and dumped me. I was so hurt and I guess I still am. Everything that I’ve heard about her relationship with this person kills me because it’s not with me and what’s worse is this person doesn’t treat her with the respect she deserves. I know time to move on and I’ve tried but she always seems to haunt me. I just want to feel that feeling that she gave me when I first saw her and no one has. I’ve even dated other girls for the hell of it and those seem to turn out worse. I’m just scared I won’t feel the same way about someone like she has. Yes in a perfect world I would love to be with her but let’s be realistic, It’s never going to happen. I know that and I accept it. It just s**** that everyday I still think about her while she is giving herself to this other person. Life isn’t fair and I guess I need to learn a hack around my feelings. I just want things to be different, loving someone who doesn’t love you back REALLY s****.