I’ve come to realize.
I’m a complete and utter b******.
When me and my girlfriend first started going out… well… I disregarded her. I drove her to be on the edge of suicide. Twice.
I hurt her. Never physically, but still.
I killed her want to be artistic. And god is she.
I’ve wore out I’m sorry past the point where she just nods now.
It’s been two years. I’m controlling. I. She’s the only friend I have. I love her. More than anything.
I really do. I need her. I want her.
I’ve never even looked at another girl in the entire time we’ve been together.
I’m a sadist in the bedroom. And we only realized that after she admitted being a masochist. I took her first time. She took mine.
I’m afraid of hurting her.
No one knows we’re dating. I’m insanely protective and even more so possessive.
She tells me she loves how I am.
God, what if I’m bad for her.
But to be honest, I’d rather die than leave her.
I. I hyperventilated when I found out that I wouldn’t be able to see her. While another friend got to.
She. She’s depressed, and she says I make it better. But it gets worse when I’m away and god I try to be there. Eff. I really do.
She’s the only person I’ve ever loved.
The only one.
The closest that’s ever got is my grandmother and she’s going to die in the next two years.
I know I’m bad for her.
I know I’m bad for my most Precious person, I’m like a disease.
But I can’t leave her. Not now. Not ever.
