i wish i never got married.2nd time i am writing this.can’t believe that each time when i allow myself to forgive any little s*** that he’s done and start off the day with a clean slate, something else happens.over and over and over again, like he can’t love completely without hating and trashing half the time.
Yesterday he woke up, and while we had company for the weekend, said to me ” have’t you seen this like this, why you don’t do anything about it” -regarding the armchair and some stupid pillow for keeping the head. WTF ? he can’t act ” nice” because he doesn’t know the meaning of the word.or haven’t experienced much of it? i donno, but i just can’t wait for him to be nice anymore ! can’t wait to be trusted for an extra 2 years and half.
he actually thinks i talked with some of the friend staying over about our problems ( always suspects me of talking ” secret” things with people , ” secrets” not known to him , obviously, or about him…is that paranoid or delusional? or maybe he should see someone? funny part is that i did see someone, and in the end i realized i am depressed because of my husband, he fucks up the majority of my days.Kudos to that, and to Monday, and to love…