I’ll be lying if I say that I don’t miss him.

I miss him. I miss our hellos, good mornings, good nights, how are yous, I miss yous, I love yous,.. I miss him. I miss the time we had together.

I know we had lots of bad times together. I hated how it felt, I hated how he made me feel like crap. I hated how I always had to say sorry, even for the things I didn’t do. I hated his possessiveness and how clingy he was, how he reminded me all the time not to talk with other guys, how he wanted me to spend all my time with him even when I was tired and busy, how he controlled and monitored every single thing I do.

But our good times.. they were good.

And being the one to break it up, it hurts a lot alright. You carry twice the pain: the pain of losing someone you care about and the pain of hurting someone you care about.

But this is for the best. I lost a lot of myself when I was with him. I was hurting too much. I thought I’ll be fine. I thought I’d feel relieved. I thought I’d feel free. I didn’t expect breaking up with him would hurt this much. The stupid urge to text him again is killing me.

I hope you’re okay over there. I hope you’ll be fine.
Here comes goodbye A.S.