Before me and my boyfriend dated, we would talk on and off. For a few years actually.

I used him.

And I knew it.
Now that I look back on it, I hate it. I hate myself for it. I had completely crushed his heart. He couldn’t sleep, he hardly ate. (He’s a big guy, linebacker for our high school football team)… What I did to him caused his step mom to hate me since I put him into depression.

Now that we’re together (a year now) the conversation was brought up about how I used him and what I’ve put him through. It makes my heart hurt knowing what I did to him. He can’t find it In his heart to forgive me.

I feel like a monster… I’m such a horrible person for crushing the heart of a guy who waited years for a chance to be with me.
This has caused me to hate myself.

I want to break up with him, to do him a favor.

This boy is my world. I have put every thing on the line for him, and he’s done the same. Except I’m the monster.