I can’t stop thinking “i should just kill myself”and i swear its simply because i can’t get this house clean.
The house is huge and the yard is horrendous and all i want is to live in a nice place and have a fun life. But i can’t get myself to anything fun until everything’s done around here…but it never will be done.
I’m depressed and drink too much to just feel okay…all the time. And it kills my motivation. I’m always overwhelmed by this mess, i never get anything done.
Just waiting for my home to perfect before i start LIVING. It’s never going to happen and i can’t live this way anymore. I am so scared I’m going to die waiting for myself to get stuff done. I just want to run away with nothing but money and two changes of clothes.
God, I’m so unhappy. Wtf is wrong with me
