i am a man. i am not gay. but i like penises. i have been fascinated by them since i was very young. id sneak peeks in the gym locker room or at urinals, but i was very shy and inhibited then.

later when i was around 18, i found peepholes in some restrooms which were at the right height to observe men and boys peeing. other peepholes were sometimes between the stalls. i became a regular at these places. i found that some men used these to look while they masturbated. if you looked back at them or acknowledged or motioned, they would kneel down under the stall wall. this was how i touched a p**** for the first time.

then i found adult bookstores in a nearby city. these had booths to watch p*** movies, the old peep show reels at that time. some of the booths had holes, large ones to allow a p**** to go thru. at first i was very scared and avoided these for a few years. finally i gave in, went to a booth, a man came in the next one, and i sucked on my first d***. it may have been the same visit, i got my d*** sucked for the first time, i came in about 30 seconds, it was great.

over the years i sucked and jacked hundreds maybe thousands of penises – young old black white thin fat short long cut uncut i did them all, often without a word exchanged.

eventually i stopped sucking, i got too many sore throats and minor infections. i still craved the excitement but found many guys didnt want a h******. but i did have one of the most memorable times ever. i got in a booth with a tall guy, he asked if i would come back to his house nearby. i was scared never did that before, but I followed him home. we had a great time talking fondling stroking eventually making each other c**.

all the adult bookstores closed by the mid 90s. stores and parks became the playground for this game but it was much riskier and more difficult to meet up. i had a few very good times at a local beach changing room around ten years ago, one night i jacked off guy after guy it was so much fun. but as always some guys get too blatant, arrests are made and the area is tainted for many years.

craiglist seems to be the way to meet now. but there is even more risk there. it has to be a fantasy me for at this time, although the need sometimes is so great.