i wish id kissed you when you put your hand on my thigh, in the taxi all those years ago.
i wish we’d had enough courage to just say to each other ‘i like you’.
i wish you hadnt started dating my best friend.
i wish she didnt have 3 children already, so you couldve experienced what it was like to be a dad…youre an amazing step father, but i know how much want your own baby.
i wish that my children, were our children.
i wish you’d had balls 10 years ago so i wouldnt have had to settle with the first guy that got me pregnant.
i wish we had met on an even keel, and that you werent my ‘superior’.
i wish i could just tell you that ive loved you from the moment i saw you. i didnt even know you then. i just saw you through a window when i went to drop off my CV, you smiled at me as i was walking past and i had the random thought, ‘im going to marry that man one day’…then laughed at myself & thought, ‘wtf!?’
i wish i never got the job, because ive spent the best years of my life being depressed because i cant have the only person i have ever truly ‘wanted’.
i wish you didnt come in to my new job every wednesday & saturday, so i didnt have to see that smile any more.
i wish you didnt make me turn to mush everytime i catch you looking at me.
i wish i didnt sound like a teenager.
i wish we could start over. i would kiss you in the taxi. i wouldnt have left you standing outside your house with a bewilldered look on you face as i walked the rest of the way home, because i was drunk & didnt want to ruin our ‘professional relationship’.
i wish i could not love you.
i wish i didnt feel like we missed out on something…on something good…something real.
i wish, that after 10 years, the electricity between us would just disappear.
i wish.