My past called today… and turned my world upside down, just when I thought I am finally ok and happy.
He just wanted to say “happy birthday” and that was it.
It’s been almost a year… A year since we are not “we” anymore, since “us” became just “me”.
I hate him, ’cause he couldn’t love me like I needed. And he wasn’t good to me… He cheated and he played games, and he lied and he made me feel like crap almost everyday, and didn’t care about my feelings. But when things were good, we were “standing on the top of the world”. I hate him for not being here to wipe my tears. I hate him cause i wasn’t enough for him… I hate him because he is happy now, alone, screwing anything and everything that moves. And yet, I love him.
And for that, I hate myself!
I have a great guy in my life… he loves me and respects me and treats me right . But he is not who I want. I realized today that I will never get over the love I felt for the man in the past. I will just have to pretend for the rest of my life. Pretend that I am happy, when I will never be again.