So this girl liked me a while back (reasons for which I am still clueless) but she was .... lovely, and I was... Awful, I knew she liked me but I was

12 years

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So this girl liked me a while back (reasons for which I am still clueless) but she was …. lovely, and I was… Awful, I knew she liked me but I was always nervous around that sort of stuff so I didn’t talk much, I was constantly fighting to hide my jealousy (I wasn’t very attractive and knew it) and I was distant and didn’t pick up that many cues because like the proverbial dog in the laboratory: I have no idea what I’m doing. Needless to say I wasn’t very romantic, something I didn’t pick up on at the time but got b**** slapped with by hindsight so events like asking her out (she said no) was very stupidly done. In the end I don’t feel like I was good enough for her and people who I told always rebuff that but I feel like (I know it sounds whiny) I was terrible at that sort of relationship and we both know it. forever. The one thing I’m most ashamed of is before I started getting to know her I had a problem (despite social acceptability) with p*** and m*********** and I had masturbated to her a few times because I thought she was incredibly attractive, but I ended up feeling so ashamed when she actually did start liking me. So now she’s moved on and I’m kind of past it but I feel like I’m limping through the rest of the year

New Confession

I’m male, work a high power job, good salary. After work I dress as a female to relax.
Recently I discovered, having my testicle out side my pan+ties, under my dress, keeps me cooler. Just wanted to put this out there.

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When I was in college my roommate was raped and murdered in a stairwell. I left that school and later completed my degree on line. I lived with my mother.

I had a long time jib working for a cupcake store. One random day a man stopped for a birthday cupcake for his secretary. I asked him if men still had secretaries. He asked if I had an education. Since I had a degree I could be his secretary, the birthday girl was moving.

The company offices had fifty people, mostly male, engineers. The other females were all young, dressed well, fawned over the men. Hired for their looks. I was hired for my looks, 22 blonde.

The man, he wanted a secretary who was affectionate to him. Kiss on the cheek every morning. Wore dresses, a little cleavage. A slap across the a** type of man. He kissed me in his office, felt me up and told me he was coming to my house. I told him I lived with my mother.

He showed up and my mother told me to serve him. He told her he was there for me. He saw me at the cupcake store and decided to marry me.

My mother asked Jim questions, like interviewing him for me. He passed, professional, manager, good job, but how did she know if he could father children. I got married anyways , fingers crossed.

Five years without children. Five years of keeping myself away from him. Five years of this and that girl. He turned 33, I either got pregnant or he would leave me.

Coercion. Blackmail. Forced to comply. It was as awful as I imagined. You only give up your virgin status once. It was awful. What can I say. He repeated it to make sure I got pregnant.

You see, my college roommate was my lover. When I lost her everything ended for me. I married him to please my mother. It’s awful, what can I say. I’m cheating on her memory. This child in me, if I have a girl I will name her after Cristina.