So this girl liked me a while back (reasons for which I am still clueless) but she was …. lovely, and I was… Awful, I knew she liked me but I was always nervous around that sort of stuff so I didn’t talk much, I was constantly fighting to hide my jealousy (I wasn’t very attractive and knew it) and I was distant and didn’t pick up that many cues because like the proverbial dog in the laboratory: I have no idea what I’m doing. Needless to say I wasn’t very romantic, something I didn’t pick up on at the time but got b**** slapped with by hindsight so events like asking her out (she said no) was very stupidly done. In the end I don’t feel like I was good enough for her and people who I told always rebuff that but I feel like (I know it sounds whiny) I was terrible at that sort of relationship and we both know it. forever. The one thing I’m most ashamed of is before I started getting to know her I had a problem (despite social acceptability) with p*** and m*********** and I had masturbated to her a few times because I thought she was incredibly attractive, but I ended up feeling so ashamed when she actually did start liking me. So now she’s moved on and I’m kind of past it but I feel like I’m limping through the rest of the year