I plagiarize. In the past year I used someone else’s work to further my career. I was caught and I told everyone that I did it unconsciously and that the other person was my inspiration. To be honest, I just figured that everyone would be too stupid and lazy to recognize the source material. After all, it took them about a year to realize that I ripped someone off word for word. I think that it’s censorship to keep someone from using another work and it keeps you from really being creative. People loved my f****** work, so how dare they criticize me for something they’ve likely done themselves!

I apologized by using someone else’s apology. I don’t think they deserved a real one.