I got into a fight with a friend recently. Both of us were in the wrong, but I do think that many of the comments lobbed at me were overly harsh and inaccurate. Not going into detail, but she pretty much told me that I’ve been giving her nothing but evils for a while now. I’m not the easiest person to deal with, but I’ve helped her out in a lot of ways and been there when others weren’t. She told me that I should take time to myself, which was basically a way to starve me of her attention and company for a while. Probably in the hopes that I’d come back and apologize for the fight and take all the blame for it.

But… while I do miss her, I’ve found that my life feels a lot lighter without her in it. I didn’t realize how much I wasn’t telling her about myself because I was afraid of her getting angry at me. I didn’t realize that I was picking and choosing my words out of fear of her getting hurt and sulking.

I guess what makes me feel guilty is how easily I find myself able to move on without her. I do miss her, but I don’t miss her as much as I thought I would. Every once in a while she’ll make an effort to talk to me, but part of me is afraid to talk to her because I know she’ll just b**** at me and try to say I’m at fault. The last time we spoke the intent in her words was pretty clear and I gave an excuse why I couldn’t come over, like I was sick or something. I know I’ll have to talk to her at least once in person to give some sort of closure, but I know it’ll definitely be the end of our friendship officially. I just feel bad that I don’t feel like I’m losing all that much in the long run.