My issue is coming to the realization that my life is spent. Without any real hope. Too much bullshit and garbage people at the wrong time of my life has warped my mind and outlook, wasted a lot of time and I know for a fact this can not change or ever get better. In many ways it’s only going to get worse.
I realized I am literally living to die and with nothing to look forward to what so ever, and it’s not really a pleasure. Nothing can change that and it’s not really fun going through life “just to stay alive”. I can’t change my mind or my direction, outlook, the way I think. I am what I am now, it is what it is. There’s no bending at this point.
This is serious too. This not a typical post about suicide, looking for attention and not mean it. I don’t want attention. I hate most people who have come and gone through my life, hell I hate most people I interact with onna daily basis currently. I hate people. I’m serious. It’s not depression. I’m just sick of everything, everyone and I don’t see a positive future for myself. I’m far too warped mentally and tired of living the life just to stay alive.