MIAMI- A Miami man named Corvallus Bronson Winslow III is apart of a new movement called New Dixie Democrats who aim to bring Democrat hegemony back to

6 months

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MIAMI- A Miami man named Corvallus Bronson Winslow III is apart of a new movement called New Dixie Democrats who aim to bring Democrat hegemony back to the south — but with a twist.

Winslow, an openly gay man who primarily dates interracially said “The recent Trump re-election aided in a large part by the African American male vote shows that we’ve lost a lot of ground with black men. New Dixie Democrats of Florida think it’s high time we put black men back in their place — on the basketball court, in prison, the bedroom or behind a BBQ grill — but definitely not in the voting booth”.

Winslow is not without his critics, many calling him a slavery or Jim Crow era revivalist but Winslow rebuffs this. “Look here’s what I say — hey Sambo Lips, we helped you out during slavery, we helped you out with welfare and other goodies during the civil rights movement, but clearly you ignorant fuzzheads don’t appreciate it and it’s time we put you back in your place”.

Winslow ended our interview early when a man he referred to as Dookie Dunker Dushawn arrived for what he called “a cheek splitting session”.

ROBERTO HAMBURGUESA, MIAMI TRIBUNE

New Confession

Last night my parents had a dinner party for some of their friends. Usually they are lame and I do something to get out of the house. I was out with friends and when I got home I was surprised how many people were still here. I said hello to everyone and went upstairs to my room. About 10 minutes later one of my parents friends came into my room. I’ve known him and his wife since as long as I can remember but was still very surprised when he just walked into my room. He was drunk and rambling and I was just being the polite girl I always am when he grabbed my arm which surprised me. He pulled me down to the floor and unzipped his pants before I like even realized what was going on. Then I saw it. He was bigger than anyone I’ve ever seen. He was uncut which I’ve only seen one other time and he was really hairy. I went from being scared to turned on and when he put his hand on my head he didn’t have to do much. I took him in my mouth and he grew. Like the biggest guy I’ve ever been with by a lot. He started talking dirty calling me names and it just made me hotter. He finished in my mouth and it was like a gallon. I had to swallow like five or six times to get it all. I was looking up at him sort of in shock when he slapped my face with it and told me I did a good job. Then he zipped up and walked out. I went downstairs like a half hour later and people were leaving including him. His wife hugged me as they were leaving. I could literally still taste her husband in my mouth as his wife hugged me. I just woke up this morning and it’s all I can think about.

Related Confessions

Dear old man,

I cannot tell you what you did to me and how you broke your word to my mother in her last days of her life. You, sir, are a real insult in my presence and what you did you left me hanging to dry without paying a dime to me. I am angry, hurt and disappointed to you and your actions led you to be greedy and not doing what you promised to me. Mom would be angry and sorely disappointed in you. You have brought shame to me and my family. I don’t know if I will forgive you for what you did and sometimes in the near future you are going to make your amends with me and set things right. You won’t hear from me anytime soon and unless you make things right with me don’t bother calling me. That’s all I have to say to you, you thief!