i feel that i want her and love her there i try to found any excuse to talk her because she had been reject me in first week after we meet .finally after

12 years

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i feel that i want her and love her there i try to found any excuse to talk her because she had been reject me in first week after we meet .finally after 3 months later i found one Excuse, on 26 jan 2013 i talk her on phone , she refuse me after few moments and in between talk i ask her that i want to gift her on her demand. she msg me after few time (in angry mood) that she want bla-bla bag, shoes, etc. which cost about 160$ and i wept but i admit that i will earn it. that time i reply her that i’ll do it for my love. and then she tell me that my list is so long. i reply her tell me whatever your list , i have to earn. then she add a phone and other item which cost about 500$ . now i had target to earn 500$ in 2 months. i work day and night finally on 3 march i gave her money and she accpet . that day i first time meet her directly after 8 months. and after few day later she say that she gave her 1/2 to her hostel friend because she’s money had been stolen. then she again make for mobile and we both agree to work for mobile after few day she refuse to work because some health problem but i work and finally i earn 400$ for her mobile. i send her via bank account when she gone to her home in holiday.i work day and night about 10-18 hour. she buy her mobile but not which she want because i accused her that she always carrying for her money also and one day we have been hot talk on this issue and i told her that she only remind me when she need money or have any worth related work. after that she tried to maintain good friendship with me i also tried but we won’t get complete happy with each other specially she..because i have no good personality, money, and success and i always thing about EXISTENCE therefor i am boring. one thing which i hate about her that she always roaming with other guys and she don’t hesitate with her to do anything but she never physically come close to me . whenever i propose her to love she angry upon me . finally i found an information with my friend’s talk that she roaming with many guys in car , bike in short cloths and spend so much on gadgets my broken heart got angry. finally i told her that you are gold digger and i don’t know you are virgin or not. bla bla. on text msg. i belong to middle class family my family monthly income is rarely 200-300$ or some time maximum 400$ my father working in factory where he work hard and my mom-sister live in tight budget therefore she never expend their wish, dreams regarding to money she rarely goes to shopping. i am feeling guilty about them. i bring her to my house one day but she never thing that i have been done a lot scarifies. what should i do. i feel that i fail this time also . i never find any big successes in my life. i have dream but no will power. i am 22+ and she is 20+ . she know me more than i know her although she rarely accept me publicly only talk to me privalty

New Confession

I’m male, work a high power job, good salary. After work I dress as a female to relax.
Recently I discovered, having my testicle out side my pan+ties, under my dress, keeps me cooler. Just wanted to put this out there.

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When I was in college my roommate was raped and murdered in a stairwell. I left that school and later completed my degree on line. I lived with my mother.

I had a long time jib working for a cupcake store. One random day a man stopped for a birthday cupcake for his secretary. I asked him if men still had secretaries. He asked if I had an education. Since I had a degree I could be his secretary, the birthday girl was moving.

The company offices had fifty people, mostly male, engineers. The other females were all young, dressed well, fawned over the men. Hired for their looks. I was hired for my looks, 22 blonde.

The man, he wanted a secretary who was affectionate to him. Kiss on the cheek every morning. Wore dresses, a little cleavage. A slap across the a** type of man. He kissed me in his office, felt me up and told me he was coming to my house. I told him I lived with my mother.

He showed up and my mother told me to serve him. He told her he was there for me. He saw me at the cupcake store and decided to marry me.

My mother asked Jim questions, like interviewing him for me. He passed, professional, manager, good job, but how did she know if he could father children. I got married anyways , fingers crossed.

Five years without children. Five years of keeping myself away from him. Five years of this and that girl. He turned 33, I either got pregnant or he would leave me.

Coercion. Blackmail. Forced to comply. It was as awful as I imagined. You only give up your virgin status once. It was awful. What can I say. He repeated it to make sure I got pregnant.

You see, my college roommate was my lover. When I lost her everything ended for me. I married him to please my mother. It’s awful, what can I say. I’m cheating on her memory. This child in me, if I have a girl I will name her after Cristina.