Mario: Yo, it's-a me, Mario, the plumber on the scene, Jumping on Goombas, saving Peach, living the dream. Bowser, you're a big bad turtle, all fire and

11 months

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[Setting: A fiery volcano landscape, with lava bubbling and Koopa Troopas cheering in the background. Mario and Bowser stand face-to-face, ready to engage in an epic rap battle.]

Mario:
Yo, it’s-a me, Mario, the plumber on the scene,
Jumping on Goombas, saving Peach, living the dream.
Bowser, you’re a big bad turtle, all fire and roar,
But when it comes to rap battles, you’re just a snore.

Bowser:
Ha, you think you’re tough, with your overalls and stache,
But I’m the king of Koopas, bringing the heat with every bash.
I’ll stomp you like a Goomba, crush you with my shell,
Bowser’s in the house, you’re just a plumber, oh well.

Mario:
You kidnapped Peach again, man, that’s so old school,
I rescue her every time, like it’s my job, fool.
Your fire breath’s hot, but your rhymes are weak,
I’m Super Mario, jumping high, hitting my peak.

Bowser:
You’re a hero, sure, but your princess is in my castle,
I’ll toss you in the lava, watch you sizzle and hassle.
I’m the baddest Koopa, ruler of the land,
You’re just a sidekick, Mario, don’t try to expand.

Mario:
You talk big, Bowser, but you’re all bark and no bite,
I’ll swing on my vine, you can’t handle the fight.
Luigi’s got my back, we’re a dynamic duo,
Bowser’s rhymes are weak, mine are pure fuego.

Bowser:
You and Luigi, brothers in crime, I’ll crush you both,
My Koopa Troopas got your number, that’s no joke.
I’ll send you to the dungeon, end your game, no reset,
Bowser’s the king, Mario, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

[The rap battle intensifies with each verse, as Mario and Bowser trade barbs and taunts, their respective crews hyping up the battle. The crowd of Koopa Troopas and Mushroom Kingdom citizens cheer and jeer, adding to the electric atmosphere of the showdown.]

[As the battle reaches its climax, Mario drops the mic with a final flourish, while Bowser steps back, conceding defeat with a growl. The audience erupts into cheers and applause, acknowledging Mario as the victor of this epic rap battle.]

[Fade out, with Mario striking a triumphant pose and Bowser begrudgingly acknowledging his rival’s skill.]

New Confession

Last night my parents had a dinner party for some of their friends. Usually they are lame and I do something to get out of the house. I was out with friends and when I got home I was surprised how many people were still here. I said hello to everyone and went upstairs to my room. About 10 minutes later one of my parents friends came into my room. I’ve known him and his wife since as long as I can remember but was still very surprised when he just walked into my room. He was drunk and rambling and I was just being the polite girl I always am when he grabbed my arm which surprised me. He pulled me down to the floor and unzipped his pants before I like even realized what was going on. Then I saw it. He was bigger than anyone I’ve ever seen. He was uncut which I’ve only seen one other time and he was really hairy. I went from being scared to turned on and when he put his hand on my head he didn’t have to do much. I took him in my mouth and he grew. Like the biggest guy I’ve ever been with by a lot. He started talking dirty calling me names and it just made me hotter. He finished in my mouth and it was like a gallon. I had to swallow like five or six times to get it all. I was looking up at him sort of in shock when he slapped my face with it and told me I did a good job. Then he zipped up and walked out. I went downstairs like a half hour later and people were leaving including him. His wife hugged me as they were leaving. I could literally still taste her husband in my mouth as his wife hugged me. I just woke up this morning and it’s all I can think about.

Related Confessions

Dear old man,

I cannot tell you what you did to me and how you broke your word to my mother in her last days of her life. You, sir, are a real insult in my presence and what you did you left me hanging to dry without paying a dime to me. I am angry, hurt and disappointed to you and your actions led you to be greedy and not doing what you promised to me. Mom would be angry and sorely disappointed in you. You have brought shame to me and my family. I don’t know if I will forgive you for what you did and sometimes in the near future you are going to make your amends with me and set things right. You won’t hear from me anytime soon and unless you make things right with me don’t bother calling me. That’s all I have to say to you, you thief!