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[Upbeat Music Playing]

Narrator: “America, it’s time to reflect and celebrate the progress we’ve made under President Skeletor’s leadership!”

Soundbite – President Skeletor: “Together, we’ve faced challenges head-on and emerged stronger than ever.”

Narrator: “From revitalizing our economy to strengthening national security, President Skeletor has delivered results.”

Soundbite – Voter: “I feel safer knowing President Skeletor is in charge. His policies have made a real difference.”

Narrator: “With a clear vision for the future, President Skeletor has championed innovative solutions for healthcare, education, and energy independence.”

Soundbite – Healthcare Worker: “Thanks to President Skeletor, we’re seeing real improvements in our healthcare system.”

Narrator: “He’s not just a leader; he’s a fighter for every American. Re-elect President Skeletor and let’s continue building a brighter, stronger America!”

Soundbite – President Skeletor: “Together, we will keep moving forward. The best is yet to come.”

Narrator: “Re-elect President Skeletor. Proven leadership. Proven results.”

[Music Fades Out]

Announcer: “Paid for by the Committee to Re-elect President Skeletor.”

New Confession

Last night my parents had a dinner party for some of their friends. Usually they are lame and I do something to get out of the house. I was out with friends and when I got home I was surprised how many people were still here. I said hello to everyone and went upstairs to my room. About 10 minutes later one of my parents friends came into my room. I’ve known him and his wife since as long as I can remember but was still very surprised when he just walked into my room. He was drunk and rambling and I was just being the polite girl I always am when he grabbed my arm which surprised me. He pulled me down to the floor and unzipped his pants before I like even realized what was going on. Then I saw it. He was bigger than anyone I’ve ever seen. He was uncut which I’ve only seen one other time and he was really hairy. I went from being scared to turned on and when he put his hand on my head he didn’t have to do much. I took him in my mouth and he grew. Like the biggest guy I’ve ever been with by a lot. He started talking dirty calling me names and it just made me hotter. He finished in my mouth and it was like a gallon. I had to swallow like five or six times to get it all. I was looking up at him sort of in shock when he slapped my face with it and told me I did a good job. Then he zipped up and walked out. I went downstairs like a half hour later and people were leaving including him. His wife hugged me as they were leaving. I could literally still taste her husband in my mouth as his wife hugged me. I just woke up this morning and it’s all I can think about.

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