I express the way I feel with lies. There’s no way I can actually talk to someone and tell them the raw truth about myself in the past. So, I cover it up with lies. I’ll replace one story with another, and I truly feel like people are starting to figure me out. I feel really sick with myself, and I don’t want to be considered as a liar, because the liars I know personally are the least likable people I’ve known.

I’ve had a lot of trauma which led to a big pile of emotion and thoughts and I’m drowning in it all. I feel like if I were to tell the truth about everything that has ever happened, I would not be understood, more judged about it. Something bad has happened and it has brainwashed me, and I’m not only living a lie to my friends and family, but also to my own mind.