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a pain, Other
12 years
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I feel like I can’t control myself anymore….I know its long but I can’t control what I say. It just comes out. My thoughts have turned so dark and not like how I was. I scare myself because I know I could change back but I don’t think I want to. But then again I don’t really THINK anymore. Its so hard to explain. Ever since that one night, I don’t look at scissors the same. Razors are death and so is water. Watching someone kiss makes me feel broken. I always wonder why people smile when I’m so depressed. What is there to smile about? I wish I knew but I can’t find it. I try to stay happy through the day but there’s so many reasons to be angry and not smile. My mom is hiding her worry but not very well. She talks to her bf whenever imI’m not around. When she thinks imI’m not right around the corner, listening to every word they say. Trying to hold in the stupid tears and ache. They don’t understand I know they cant. They try to make me talk about what’s happening but how am I supposed to explain what I don’t even know? I’m so confused. I ate once today. I feel empty but I’m not sure if it feels welcome. If I stayed empty, I wouldn’t hurt again. I last slept 3 nights ago. I don’t feel tired but I’m not sure. I don’t need help and I don’t care. But I’m not sure if maybe I do need help….I’m not sure if I’m happier this way or back then? I don’t even remember how I used to think. The days go on and I stay in my little bubble of nothing. I didnt even know the day or hour until I went onto this tablet. I’m so confused.

New Confession

I said this once and I’ll say it again. Not all mentally ill people are the same. Schizophrenic people DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. So STOP SAYING THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR THEM KILLING SOMEONE. Would you say there’s no excuse for a person calling you a bad name in their sleep? Would you say there’s no excuse for your child walking outside past midnight in their sleep? It’s NOT A THING OF THERE’S NO EXCUSE but the need to SHIFT THE FOCUS ON WHO TO BLAME. OUR GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO OPEN THESE FACILITIES BACK UP,THEY NEED A CAREGIVER TO BE SURE THEY TAKE THEIR MEDICINE, A GOOD DOCTOR THAT’S ON TOP OF THE PATIENTS SCHEDULE,RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT THE FACT THEY ARE ILL NOT CRIMINALS!!!

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Related Confessions

I said this once and I’ll say it again. Not all mentally ill people are the same. Schizophrenic people DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. So STOP SAYING THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR THEM KILLING SOMEONE. Would you say there’s no excuse for a person calling you a bad name in their sleep? Would you say there’s no excuse for your child walking outside past midnight in their sleep? It’s NOT A THING OF THERE’S NO EXCUSE but the need to SHIFT THE FOCUS ON WHO TO BLAME. OUR GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO OPEN THESE FACILITIES BACK UP,THEY NEED A CAREGIVER TO BE SURE THEY TAKE THEIR MEDICINE, A GOOD DOCTOR THAT’S ON TOP OF THE PATIENTS SCHEDULE,RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT THE FACT THEY ARE ILL NOT CRIMINALS!!!

1 View