I just want pills to allow me to focus. However, I don't have insurance and I'm afraid to join the health care that the government has up to get an

12 years

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I just want pills to allow me to focus. However, I don’t have insurance and I’m afraid to join the health care that the government has up to get an individual plan because I was told there aren’t really any savings in it.
I want to go to the gym since I’m paying for a membership so I can work on my alertness and heart but I can’t get my boyfriend to go. I’d never hear the end of it if I sneak to orientation.
I hate how hard it is to think and focus, this isn’t normal. Life is calling me to be part of it and I feel empty. A limp noodle. It’s worse because I’ve taken an interest in environmental design and I just can’t get myself to study… wtf is wrong with me.

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I said this once and I’ll say it again. Not all mentally ill people are the same. Schizophrenic people DO NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING. So STOP SAYING THERE’S NO EXCUSE FOR THEM KILLING SOMEONE. Would you say there’s no excuse for a person calling you a bad name in their sleep? Would you say there’s no excuse for your child walking outside past midnight in their sleep? It’s NOT A THING OF THERE’S NO EXCUSE but the need to SHIFT THE FOCUS ON WHO TO BLAME. OUR GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO OPEN THESE FACILITIES BACK UP,THEY NEED A CAREGIVER TO BE SURE THEY TAKE THEIR MEDICINE, A GOOD DOCTOR THAT’S ON TOP OF THE PATIENTS SCHEDULE,RECOGNIZE AND ACCEPT THE FACT THEY ARE ILL NOT CRIMINALS!!!