I’m a wreck.
I have so much problems. First of all, last week, the day was going so smoothly and I almost thought it was going to be a good day. Then my friend just mention that this guy that I have loved for so long has a girlfriend. For the rest of the day, I was depressed. To make it even worse, I feel as if I am bisexual. I think of girls and guys both at the same time. Then I have social anxiety. I have low self esteem, zero confidence, and I also tend to scrutinize everything I do and think that I look hideous or I performed poorly in front of others. “Be strong” is easier said than done. I don’t know what to do. I f****** hate myself. I should just go and kill myself. I can’t take it any longer. My parents divorced when I was young, the guy I have loved for so long has a girlfriend, I might be bisexual and I don’t know how my parents will react to that, and on top of all that, I hate myself. You know what? I might consider self harm. Maybe not. I’m scared of taking away my own life but at the same time, I want to do something like that. I just want to let go. I want to leave this world. I want to let go.
