12 years
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Okay this is something I’ve been needing to get off of my chest for a long time.
I’m 18, a girl, I have 3 older brothers and 2 younger brothers. My three older brothers all love to drink. I’ve never had a drink in my life- like, ever. Never smoked or anything. For me, that’s literally unheard of. I’ve tried tiny sips of alcohol before and I HATED IT. Beer. is. so. musty. and. disgusting. My boyfriend of 3 and a half years is the same as me. A very gentle soul and such a mellow laid back personality. He’s perfect. We trust each other to tell each other things and I’m hiding this secret because I’m scared of what he’s going to say to me? Long story short I went to my brother’s apartment for a night we were just going to watch movies/play games or whatever and out of the blue they sort of peer pressured me into getting drunk. I did- and wow what a wild night. My only memory of it is that it was a huge blur and everything was spinning and there was a lot of screaming and yelling(happy screaming and yelling) and like.. idk I just went crazy. The next morning my headache..haha oh man. I feel like I should tell my boyfriend about it????? I’m just so scared of what he’s going to say. He trusts me and I feel like a failure. this probably sounds ridiculous. maybe I needed that experience to break away my shell for once. I’ve been really shy all my life and I am reluctant but no this was wrong of me just no no no no no non ono i feel so guilty I don’t know what to do

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .