I have been clinically depressed nearly all my life, in high school i felt i needed an excuse for feeling this bad. I lied to my mum, dad, friends, doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, nurses, councillors, spiritualists and teachers about having hallucinations, hearing voices and having nightmares. Obviously now i realise I’m s*** person. I have distanced myself from the rest of the world and feel so incredibly alone. I understand I deserve this as I have done it to myself. There is no possible way to fix this mess I’ve created. I’m absolutely ashamed and completely hate myself. I can’t be trusted as I’m a compulsive liar. My life is lies on lies and I speak them before my brain has chance to process what I’m saying. It’s too much and I’m pretty sure that sometime in a few years time i will end up killing myself. I will never be happy and the guilt is just building up inside and making me feel worse.
