13 years
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my friends accuse me of having an overactive imagination. i have told them about several of my encounters and they choose not to believe me. i am like them, so what i do when the right guy comes along is not anything they would do. i have participated in pretty deviant s** ever since i started having s**. the first guy i went to bed with licked my a******. he fucked me for a long time and showed me a bunch of things that aren’t normal, at least not out in the open. i learned a*** very early on, he liked that because he would keep from getting me pregnant. but more than a*** i liked when he licked me. we also did some pee stuff, him on me, and drinking pee, but that didn’t last long. it really never did anything for either one of us. we had s**, me on him in the car, in parking lots like mcdonalds, places that had lots of traffic. once we got out of the car and he had me while i leaned agains the hood of the car. there were lots of bushes and it was a bit dark where we were parked, but the thrill of getting smacked out in the open is what we were looking for. he helped brake down my inhibitions and just go for it, except pain. i dated him until i got out of high school and then we drifted away from eachother.

i do weird stuff, stuff normal people don’t do, not all guys like it when i ask them to do it, licking my a****** that is, although they will go down on me in a second, they can’t seem to get their tongue back there where i want it. on a couple of occassions i was blowing them and then got down below and put my tongue in their a****** and they went ballistic and went away. guys are also full of it when they say what they do.

when i meet a guy, a particular guy, who wants to be inventive and will lick me i will stay with him until i get tired of him. i would never marry a guy like that. that is my double standard, for casual s** i want to have my a** licked but for a husband i would not want him to do that

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I f****** hate you (bf) , you f****** manipulative,hypocrite, emotionally abusive, vaping, life draining, wannabe player b******. I.HATE YOU. I still deeply resent you. This is why everyone thinks you’re an a****** at your job. You’re not some anti-hero that you claimed to be. No- You’re just an a******. Point blank . Especially to me of all people! You always take it out on me, and you still wonder why I won’t touch you like that or shut down completely with you. Everytime you sense or feel even an inch that im happy, peaceful, something I enjoy doing you immediately smash that down so you can feel better and have power over me. What’s funny is that every time you’re in the wrong, overstep your boundaries, make me really upset or talk crap to me – karma smacks you right in the face everytime & you don’t even realize it. Funny how you’ve said yourself that people spit at the sky just for it to come back-yet you’ve done the exact same thing too – you’re not godlike or safe from getting karma, even I’ve dealt with karma too when I was in the wrong many times too. So no- you’re not a misunderstood dark knight turn bad like the joker you claim to be. You’re just an egotistical bigoted jerk & everyone can see that except you. I hate myself that I fell for your facade – lovebomb trap years ago . And all the times that you’ve talked crap about other’s appearances, especially women’s, karma yet again smacked you in the face & put on a ton of weight and still wonder why you haven’t lost pounds but still continue on demanding me to cook & make you even more food despite you complaining about it , hmmmm , gee I wonder why. Anyways , glad to vent that out .