I’m embarrassed, or giddy I don’t know. I don’t really talk to many people and I text maybe about three people just kinda on and off. I guess those people would be considered my ‘friends’ even though we never see each other and are actually more of text buddies. Anywho, one of their names is Aaron. We’ve been friends for a good couple years now. We kinda flirt with each other but he’s married and i’m taken. But it’s not so bad, he’s all the way across the country so it’s not like we do anything. He’ll say he ‘s been thinking about me and misses me and i’ll pretty much repeat that. I don’t literally miss him, I mean I do think of him often! But I couldn’t really say miss..
Egh anyway I’m still really embarrassed to answer him or blurt things out that I normally would because i’m afraid i’m gonna push him away and have him think i’m soo… dumb, clingy, just negative things that I could come off as. He says it’s not likely that he’d change his mind about me and in reality it shouldn’t even really matter!! But I do think of him as a friend and because I don’t have many I don’t want to scare him away or ruin what odd friend relationship we have going on.

But I find myself apologizing to him a lot, saying things that I normally wouldn’t thus making me hold back. I don’t want to act this way, and I don’t know why I am. I wish it would stop and I could just be me. UGH i’m so awkward!!