I don’t know what to do to kill this thing. I have tried this stupid site, I have tried Reddit, I have tried reaching out and explaining things so as to acquire closure, I have tried disliking you, I have TRIED. You are stuck. Stuck in my brain, my insides, and if you could just get the hell outta there so that I can do us both a favor and set this lunacy aside, that would be fantastic. But you don’t know how much I think of you and in what manner because I WILL ABSOLUTELY UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES DISLODGE MYSELF FROM MY DIGNITY. Not again, never again. It hurts too much and I am tired. I get lonely sometimes and I get depressed and dark and I drink, I am white knuckling this to the f****** ground. I want to just…I want to just be over it. I want and need and desire to be over it. This is painful. I check on you. Pretty much every day, in the only way I can. I wish you knew how lovely you are. I wish sometimes that you felt even an iota of what I unfortunately feel for you but that would lead to ruin, so I can’t ardently wish it and still feel like a decent person. I have to be done and I don’t know how, could you tell me how? What the hell am I supposed to do about it when my brain knows reality but it also knows absolute f****** MADNESS?!