The older I get the less I feel.

I really have nobody. I could have a lot of friends but I dpnt like friends anymore.

I tried to humiliate my mom. I did. I tried to humiliate this man for demeaming me. i did – I think. I make friends easy but I only care about my goals. Im beginning to think that friends arent for me. I think the last straw was the online guy. I think the way he repeatedly made it a point to try to demean me made me grow cold inside. Tgere is no humanity. Ive always fulfilled my promise. I promised I would demean him just the same. I think people dont like me. I dont care. I honestly dont care. I dont trust anyone anymore.

I think that I feel nothing like a calculator. I now believe that my value to people is absolutely zero. I dont care anymore – I am like meh…whatever. I am not insecure but I will now be wise enough to think: why are they talkinf to me? I dont want to network anymore.

The innocence that I had for people is all gone. They are all yawn. I only care about theoretical social issues. Now Im trying to figure out – how long didntbthey like me? Longevity?

Im nice. But people either like me for my frienda or circle. They like im a go getter. They like what I can give

They are all drawn to me

Bur do they ever care? No

But do I care? No

It is like an oddity it exists as something like people watching – not connected