How should i put it… It’s a love problem. I love a girl, richer than me but that’s not the problem, the problem is she doesn’t love me. I only loved one girl, and that’s it. Used have a good friendship with her, during that time i didn’t know a thing about loving people’s attitude. All i did was stupid attempts to make her smile, to watch her once for a day. I discussed things with one my best friend, whom used to care more than brother.
My friend, and another addicted also loved her, after me. However, love is just love. I got beaten a day for loving her. I couldn’t help myself, i still believe that’s where i lost her. Where i can’t protect myself, how could i protect her. Than i took the step, i said i love her. She said NO, and this is where i am now. It’s been 5 years, still can’t see any other face when it comes love. There’re more, the friend i used to care as brother, was backstabbing me, as he couldn’t make it his own, he used me, then the addicted one. And we all know that he is just a flirting-machine. Now, i hate myself, hate those addicted people and backstabber/flirting people.
A complete loss, a complete loss. I lost her, but couldn’t resist the feelings for her. All that sad memories end up with a long-breath everyday.
I am a scared lover………..