I am in the second semester of my college and i want to confess about some things. At first when i came to college, i felt the blues about leaving home and friends, but eventually found out that some of my high school friends were petty backstabbing b******. All in all i hadn’t really made much in friends in 18 years of my life. Life in here also didn’t turn out to be as expected so i planned a weird way to counter mt problems. I started m*********** at least once a day and i’m sure i have secretly broken a world record for jizzing regularly for a limited period of time. At such a young age… This also reflected on my persona and now i can stand a company. i mean i can hang out with 2 or 3 people but being with just one person makes me uncomfortable as i often doze out to my own ideas and fantasies in the middle of the conversations. However if 2 people are there i can totally black out without them noticing. I also think my new friends at college are hypocritical b****** as they act differently in front of each other but always b**** behind the back and i have a strong reason to believe that they have been bitching about me too. Since coming here i have started smoking even though it is bad for my health. I also am never myself in front of people here, seriously i think that i act so much in front of them that acting has become a part of who i am. I have also been trying to get girlfriends in the college but so far have failed. Even my own roommate didn’t set me up with his girlfriend’s friend who i found hot at that time but now i think she’s a b****. Anyway since my roommate chickened out i decided to try my luck myself but 5 minutes into talking to her i got the hang of her and decided to leave it at that. My thoughts have taken a turn towards insane and i have been reading about serial killers and murderers and s***, and i fantasize about girls in my class in various s***** positions so much that after some time, the thought doesn’t excite me and i have to think about a new girl in a new s***** position.