I’m slowly realizing that i’m the odd ball. I am a very closed off person. I don’t have friends because I can’t find anyone who won’t drive me crazy. It’s like everyone on this planet is on a different wavelength. And i’m realizing little by little that i’m pushing everyone away with my attitude. I am blunt and honest. I tell it like it is and if you don’t like it then leave, why? Because all I ask for is honesty from people. Yet everyone is just so shady and creepy.
I have one person whom I tell everything to and he stands by my side. He’s been trying to tell me for a while now that he doesn’t like seeing me so negative towards other people. He says that I’m a lonely person, who just doesn’t know how to socialize and wants me to be more .. I don’t know. Quiet? Polite? More of a pushover?

I’m going back and fourth as to who is right. I’ve been like this my whole life and I don’t really feel lonely. I don’t need a BUNCH of people to make me happy. If anything, I think i’d rather be alone really. But I do have days where I find myself thinking about what it would be like to have a best friend,, or any real friend for that matter.

Why do people always tell me that.. ‘You don’t have any friends.’ Oh yeah?! Well, So what!! So what if i’m alone. It doesn’t bother me, in fact, it’s making me stronger through hardships and saves me from any idiots that would get close just to hurt me. The more I think about it, the more I believe i’m right. I should just become a hermit in the woods,, studying medical herbs and natural remedies. Like a hidden witch doctor with my own garden. <3 Some day.

If only other people thought that kind of stuff was cool, or would take me seriously when I talk about space, telekinesis, scientific theories, and whatnot. I'm not stupid. Far from it. I enjoy studying ANYTHING I can in my free time. That's another reason why I don't mind being alone. Because my hobby is studying and my hobby is not exactly 'other people friendly'. And regardless of all this studying, I'm somehow always the stupid one. I am mostly quiet in groups but when I do say something it's as if i'm always shot down. For example, yesterday when I spoke up someone actually said, "How high are you?" It's a simple question, could be a joke, but it's insulting nonetheless. How dare you make fun of me for speaking my mind when you don't even know what the f*** i'm talking about. What nerve. Idiots.

Seriously, what am I doing in a city, surrounded by people. People = problems. How does one avoid being hurt by people,, don't give or receive and don't expect anything of them. That way you'll never have something to be let down in the first place. The people on this planet are sick and i'm just tired of dealing with it.