I really want to die. I’m 13 and I’ve been in counseling for a while now but want to stop because it I s wasting a LOT of money and my family really can’t afford that right now, as we have just had to pay for 2 surgeries and my brothers broken arm/”. My parents have been divorced for about 9 years now and my dad doesn’t pay for a lot of s***…this isn’t all that’s happened though, I just found out that my step mom has been getting high off of her kids medication to help with his anger issues and…I’m done explaining, I could go on forever. I don’t have a lot of friends at school, and the friends I do have all seem to hate me. I’m really trying my best. I have no idea how I changed so much, because I’ve always been the one who tries to help others out of depression and tries to fix others problems, when my issues keep piling up. I want to tell my counselor that I’ve been thinking about suicide for the past year and a half but I know that if I do, they’ll pu me on suicide watch, and I know that costs a lot of money, and my family can’t afford that. I’m starting to think that my family will be better off without me, for the financial reasons, but then I think of my brothers and my mom is pregnant with my half sister and how they all love me and how if I died they would be in a living hell because my mom would be a wreck and they wouldn’t get the attention they deserve. Also, they would have to pay for the funeral anyway, and that’s expensive. But if I don’t get help then I might kill myself and…I just don’t know anymore. I really don’t want to sound like I want a shitload of pity or something, I just needed to get that off my chest.