i’ve had suicidal thoughts for the past seven or so years and i want them to go away. i used to walk around campus when i was a freshman at ut and think about killing myself and how i’d do it and contemplated jumping in front of cars. i feel like all this depression b******* has caused some significant brain damage or something. i have vivid thoughts of wanting to smash my f****** brains out. sometimes i say i want to kill myself out loud without realizing it get embarrassed and see if anyone heard