To my wife,

F*** you for making me feel like the dumbest human on the planet. F*** you for making me feel small and worthless. F*** you for making me want cancer. F*** you for making me want to eat a shotgun barrel. F*** you for making me want to end my life every second of every day. No one deserves this. Everyone except you. Your a great mother, but everyone else around you wants to beat you with a shovel, you c***. I wish I could warn any man attempting to get into your HPV ridden s***** what an unhappy, miserable person you are. No wonder your last BF before me cheated on you 7 years in. ANd how did you deal with that? Fucked his brother to get back. W****. Stupid me, thought the awful part of her had left. Then telling me to ‘call my mommy’ because I confessed that I was afraid I might get diagnosed with cancer (legit scare, fyi), should have been another red flag. Maybe I am that dumb.

To my kids,

Words will never be able to describe my love for you. If I’m dead, I died for you, know that. You will be in good hands with the family you have, Mom’s and Dad’s family. I was far from perfect, but always had good intentions. My unhappiness with your mom may have poured over to you on occasion, and you didn’t deserve that. Please learn from my mistakes. Marry someone who loves you, not because your biological clock is ticking. If they don’t respect you, get the f*** out. You deserve better than what I got. You should never have to feel the way I do, EVER. There is better out there, learn from my mistakes, not be a doormat like I was.