I am one of the smartest, wisest people I know. I have spent years on the sidelines analyzing human emotion and thought. If I am so smart and wise at this point, then why the f*** do I still miss you? I mean is it even you I am longing for? What a cruel and unusual punishment it is for our brains to project the perfect characteristics into a mate that doesn’t have them at all. How primordial and embryonic I feel. I feel like I could just call you up and profess how much I need you- when all you f****** did to me is point out that I am not good enough. Well I am good enough. I don’t even f*** what is trying to f*** me just because I am lonely. The stupid thing is you were so kind and so genuine for maybe a couple days. WHY did you have to be anyone but yourself on those days? Why couldn’t you stop being a coward and tell me what you really thought? Afraid to hurt me? Afraid to get hurt? We could have just ended it there. I bet you hold so many assumptions about who I am that aren’t true and that is what i so loathe about many people. You know what though, it’s your loss. I am a loyal friend and a great person. I just wish you would quit running through my mind like you should matter to me. I wish my mind didn’t play such tricks. I bet even if I f*** a great girl and marry her you will still be in my mind. But it is not the real you. The real you- s****.